There are 40 days and 40 nights remaining in the 2008 presidential campaign. And with 40 days remaining, I am projecting that Barack Hussein Obama II will be the next President of the United States. I base this projection on the demise of the John McCain campaign, which occurred this morning at 12:35 AM EDT.
The McCain campaign was done in by its own too-cute-by-half spin on the economic crisis, when it claimed that things were so dire, so urgent, that John Sidney McCain had no choice but to wing his way back to Washington immediately, so he could tell everyone to knock off the bullshit and fix things. As part of his urgent urgency, McCain tried and failed to cancel both Friday’s presidential and October 2nd’s vice presidential debates, and begged off from an appearance on Late Show with David Letterman.
Unfortunately for McCain, he was not, in fact, winging his way back to Washington:
No, McCain was being interviewed by Katie Couric. That is not, in and of itself, a bad thing. Couric is a major network anchor, McCain should be sitting down with network anchors. But in one fell swoop, McCain showed just how phony his “gotta run back to Washington” schtick was. After all, McCain evidently didn’t have to hurry back to Washington that quickly — he had time to sit down with Couric. And if he has time to sit down with Couric on a Wednesday night — and he does — then why can’t he debate Barack Obama on a Friday night? What will be different in two days?
McCain’s ploy was always cynical, all about trying to reposition himself, not about truly fixing anything. But now we see it was a lie — McCain is not needed in Washington immediately, and he evidently can be outside of Washington without the economy imploding.
Tonight, McCain became the subject of ridicule on Letterman. Meanwhile, his vice presidential candidate was unable to name a single attempt McCain has made to regulate Wall Street, which for once is not Sarah Palin’s fault — McCain hasn’t done anything to regulate Wall Street, and he’s been lying about that fact for two weeks. Palin is stuck having to repeat the lie, and under questioning from the aforementioned Katie Couric, Palin did her best to repeat the McCain line that McCain is a mavericky maverick with maverick-like tendencies. The fact that the line doesn’t mean anything isn’t Palin’s fault, it’s McCain’s.
McCain isn’t needed back in Washington, though both he and Obama probably should be there for the meeting with Bush tomorrow. But on Friday night, there’s no reason John McCain shouldn’t be in Mississippi. And if he can’t be there, then in the spirit of bipartisanship, let me endorse Treason-in-Defense-of-Slavery Yankee’s proposal that Palin go in his stead. That’s change we all can believe in.