Comments on: Passing thought on the Illinois Rape Law and being “unable” to stop

By: Elayne Riggs

Elayne Riggs — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Can we term this the “American Pie scenario”? :)

By: --k.

--k. — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

And now I’m thinking they had to trim just a couple of thrusts off that infamous scene from the first to keep their R rating.

By: Cleis

Cleis — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve appreciated your comments on rape, Amp. Last spring, when I mentioned to my Intro. to Women’s Studies class (at a women’s college) that men are able to refrain from or stop sexual intercourse just as easily as women are, they were shocked. And I was shocked at their response. Many of them believed that “after a certain point” men can’t stop, or that when men are really turned on, it causes them great physical pain not to have intercourse. “Not any more pain than it causes you,” was my response. Mouths were hanging open, and more than one young woman was going to call her boyfriend after class.

By: Maida

Maida — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

I feel really silly admitting this now, but like the girls in Cleis’ class, the only reason I _don’t_ believe the whole “point of no return” stuff is because my first serious boyfriend was good enough to explain this to me (he gets many “decetn guy” points for that). The whole “I couldn’t stop” idea is very very present in our culture. I wish more people would write posts like this - thanks for the great illustration!!

By: Jake Squid

Jake Squid — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

There is a point of no return for orgasm. This is not the same as a point of no return for a sex act. Perhaps this is where some people are confused?

By: John Isbell

John Isbell — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

As a 40-year-old guy, the theory that guys have troubling stopping is complete and total bulls**t. For one thing, he can pull out and still have an orgasm, for God’s sake. Never let anyone try that line. But I would say it could take anyone, male or female, a moment to register a request then: like about three seconds tops.
Amp, I think you pretty much nailed it.

By: Prometheus 6

Prometheus 6 — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Freddy Krueger couldn’t have disembowled that argument more completely.

By: --k.

--k. — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

It never fails to astound me when this “unstoppable” meme (or its corollary–that men want sex more and more often than women) rears its ugly head. I can’t help but think that the vast majority has somehow been gulled by the oldest teen-boy whine in the book:

“But if you don’t suck it, they’ll turn blue and fall off!”

By: PinkDreamPoppies

PinkDreamPoppies — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Wow. I hadn’t thought of it in that way before but, yeah, Amp just clobbered that arguement. Congrats. I suspect that there’s a cartoon in that.

By: ms lauren

ms lauren — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

consider it similar to getting caught masturbating. getting caught might be disappointing, but what are the consequences “finishing your business” with mom standing in the doorway?

By: Larry Lurex

Larry Lurex — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Normally I don’t comment on rape because (thankfully) I don’t know much about it. But I know a little about sex, and pretty much any response after a woman says no except “look, I’m really sorry” and an immediate cessation of any action is at least bad manners and (depending on the severity) could be construed as rape. Any macho bullshit that interferes with this simple truth is just that: bullshit

By: Michael Ngo

Michael Ngo — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Hey Amp,
I disagree with you completely. When I’m with my girlfriend and she stops while we’re already in the act. It gets me really angry and she doesn’t understand why and she just calls me a dog and thinks that I’m a sex-crazed psycho. When in reality, it just puts me in a REALLY bad mood if I start but yet can’t stop. In fact, I’d rather her not even get me all aroused up for sex, if she was just going to stop it half way through anyways. I honestly would have no arguement to her if she told me ahead of time that she would be pulling a retarded stunt like that. Cause then I wouldn’t even bother myself to get excited and to expect that kind of action.
That’s just my two sense. Thanks.

By: lucia

lucia — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Michael,
In my opinion, if she ask you to stop, you must stop.

You do have an option other than ignoring her and continuuing. If your girlfriend does things that make you angry, and you fight all the time, might I suggest you break up and not torture each other?

By: mythago

mythago — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Why on earth would anyone date a woman who regularly stops sex in the middle of things and then calls her male partner a dog and a sex-crazed psycho? If they were real, that is.

By: Dan J

Dan J — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Well, we don’t want real life to get in the way of a good cultural myth.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

I doubt that it’s real. Hell, I doubt this guy’s had sex.
The “guys can’t stop” thing always puzzled me. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to ask someone to stop and he wouldn’t.

By: funnie

funnie — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Yeah, Amanda. Unbelievable.

Anyway, if men can’t immediately stop intercourse, who exactly WAS it that invented the “withdrawal” method of birth control?

It’s not like (if it were truly biologically impossible) women could just make something like that up out of nothing.

By: zuzu

zuzu — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Have these people who claim they can’t stop never been introduced to their right hands?

By: Andrew

Andrew — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Yes, I wondered why they couldn’t carry on on their own (as it were) back in September.

By: Hellblazer

Hellblazer — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Point of No Return
It’s simply amazing what otherwise rational people think of as reality. Claiming a “point of no return”, inherent in male sexuality - particularly in teens and young men - is simply a joke. Ampersand provides an excellent object lessin in…