You do point out that masculinity is defined by a strict set of things you can do, or rather a large set of things you CAN’T do. There’s a whole bunch of cultural agreement about what these things are, and although you don’t make the connection in the article, the next argument is often that men are the sole reason for this problem.

Which is great, but that leaves women entirely subject to men’s will. And if they’re entirely subject to my will, I’ve got a couple ideas about what they could be doing while I fix the world (which I acknowledge I am entirely unqualified to do). <–it’s a joke

I would also point out that the 3rd bullet is silly. If you look at birds, sexuality is possessed by women. If you look at monkeys, sexuality is possessed by women. If you look at horses, sexuality is possessed by women. It was either God or nature, take your pick. There are, of course, exceptions.

In any case, I still think that the way to protect a subset of the population is to teach them to protect themselves. Instead, people who are trying to empower women teach little girls that femininity in any form needs to be respected, without explaining that it’s not. Without explaining that if women don’t respect the power of their vagina, then they are in for a world of shit. I’m not saying that a girl dressed like a slut should be raped. I’m saying that girls should learn practical knowledge that helps them avoid sticky situations. One of those things has to do with why many less-progressive societies cover women up.

I mean, compare the clothes that you see men and women wearing in every day life. Women’s dress suggests sex far more. A well-dressed man is one that is showing affluence. A well-dressed women is demonstrating sex appeal, albeit sometimes demurely. And I don’t pick out anyone’s clothes but my own.

I mean to say THREE. Text book answer: “Anger Rape” express anger (sometimes revenge) through sexuality. In these cases I’ve handled, most don’t “climax.”

Power Rape — the objective is to possess and control the victim. Rape becomes a way to compensate for his/her feelings of inadequacy. They construct elaborate fantasy worlds where, through rape, they’ll win the victim’s love. Often, they’ll rape several women to find “the right one.” The rapist lacks self-confidence and are socially maladjusted. This is the most common form of rape.

And Sadistic Rape. This rapist is commonly seen or read in books and movies. They are fascinated by torture and bondage and fear. They often mutilate and/or pierce the genitals. Sometimes, the goal is murder.

It becomes infinitely more complex from there, with some idiosyncrasies with certain rapists.

Rapists are not mentally ill, but suffer from social/psychological/personality disorders.

You are entitled to your own opinions, but you are not entitled to your own facts.

point of thought. if you change the focus from masculinity to power, and look at entitlement from the perspective of misuse of power begettting entitlement, you encompass a greater number of rapists.

unfortunately, rape is not simple by its definition, scope, cause or effect. one of my most horrendous awarenesses is that women rape, and worse, women rape women.

all children are taught about power from birth, we need to begin to focus on teaching power dynamics. too many are powerless, feel powerless, or feel that power is a commodity they can take from others.

Is there anything to the argument (brought at the beginning of piny’s triple post) that we have only recently begun to treat women like free adults?

maybe this was a typo?

if not let me just say:
the right to vote
the (universal) right to own property
ability to divorce
ability to establish credit
have custody of your children
right to not be automatically excluded from study and work in law, medicine, engineering, finance, higher on the basis of sex
right to refuse sex with your husband
legal right to use birth control of any variety
right to marry without permission of your father

are just some examples of things i think fall into the category of rights of “free adults” that have been denied women in US in the 20th century, some rather late, and some perhaps remain not fully realized

*blink* I’d never seen this aspect but I think you are spot on with it as a major issue. A sense of entitlement was clear to me but not the concept ownership (accepted by both genders) and where that comes from. Thanks.

You mention gay men in reference to pornography, but you don’t account for the amount of rape that occurs in the gay community by men. I don’t think it discounts much of what you are saying. I’m just curious if you have an idea of how to account for it; especially since you downplay the ‘rape as violence’ assumption.

There are obvious differences between the hetero and homosexual situations with respect to rape; none of the arguments about sex as something possessed by women who are perceived as lesser beings are relevant. Still, the masculinity mechanism Ampersand describes works for both situations.

Excellent post.

So, I guess I would say that eliminating all the problems you talk about above would only solve half the problem. Most of the women I know don’t really believe, deep down, that they deserve better than the assholes they get. How do we change that?

Ah, a leftist who admits he hates America.

What a refreshing change of pace!

I don’t disagree with this, but I’d add that the act, specifically, of overpowering somebody to get this thing that they want (as opposed to having it genuinely offered) is part of what is desired, specifically because it feeds into part I of your argument. In other words, they take the sex that they want, but they also help prop up their fragile masculinity by the show of both virility and specifically of power/strength. It may not help with the boss/frat brother (although it may, in fact, with the latter), but it helps with the self-image of self as strong and manly…

(How can we undermine the idea that taking advantage of weakness is anything but manly, anything but admirable? Is it too simplistic to think that diffusion of bullies in the schoolyard is a place to start?)