What makes this ‘paranoia’, as my mother calls it, this bad is roughly 99.9% of my generation has converted to the thug-life mentality. Exaggerated, but it really seems that way.
And it also seems like the most rapes in this state occur on college campuses. I tend to be a loner, as a result of differing class schedules or not knowing anyone there. So this doesn’t bode too well for me despite the fact that going to college and graduating from said institute is one of my life goals.
In other-words, I get out less than an elderly woman living on her own thanks to America’s ‘pat the guy on the back’ policy… and I’m only 21.

Sorry if that made little sense or was too long.

Secondly Dept of Community Services in Australia who investigate abuse ask
“what do you mean by coerced” “What do you mean by bad touch…”

Third - as a male - most of the things on the list I would be worried about. We are not in a safe world. We may not like to restrict our actions but we must drop the idealism.

And guys may not have to worry about being raped as often, but guys are more likely to be targets of violence and older people have the highest rates.

What cuases it? Report after report says MEDIA. People watch up to 6 hours a night. Add internet…..
Ever see prime time TV - person x sleeps with person y then breaks up with z and there are no consequences, no fights. People are shown to be available.

Magazine shows how to pick up girl x or give the perfect blowjob.

Music - the women dance around in seductive poses or put up with crap from the guy singing. Or the guy sings about killing, rape etc and cd’s get bought.

Every night in primetime at least 6 or 7 sexual acts occur where neither the man or women doesn’t offer resistance, does not discuss the issue and does not use protection.

In primetime, you also see men being belittled by women or men playing the dumb role. (Everybody Loves Raymond) Or being told they must act a certain way. Women go to bulimia, cutting, anorexia inward focus - men focus outwardly.
Many have the abiltiy to divert their attention to sports / the bottle etc others take it out on women or need to redress the power imbalance.

US society unfortunately breeds the macho male, the entitled male. It might not always lead to violence or sexual abuse but…

For one thing, it might help to take the focus of rape prevention OFF women and onto men. What can WE do to stop rape? Its not up to women to stop rape. Its certainly not women’s duty to change the way men see them so as to stop rape. Men need to take responsibility, not keep pawning it off on women. Telling them that they have to solve a problem entirely not of their making. Who should combat that male mindset? Males. The discussion I see here takes on those questions. Its not wallowing in fear-mongering, but probing for answers and solutions. That’s a good thing.

You are essentially parrotting the points which Koneko already refuted. I suggest re-reading the post.

What do you want men taught ? Isn’t there something they should learn here ? Your ideas are not “radical and new.” Women are sick and tired of always being the ones who must set the examples and do the teaching. Are you men automatons who must be lovingly but firmly reprogrammed by your self-designated subordinates, or are you full-fledged humans perfectly capable of talking to and dealing with one another in a fashion different than that which you use right now ?

Most rapes that occur are perpetrated by men known to the victim. Thus the preventative measures described by Morphienne are worthless as self defense. They are dramatic measures taken to prevent something which is highly unlikely, an attack by a stranger. FDR said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Teaching women to be fearful is doing them a disservice. Fmear causes women to inhibit their own lives. It also prepares them to be victims. Predators, be they animals or humans, can sense fear. Fearful prey is easier prey. Thus, women who show fear in their daily lives might become more attractive to those who might victimize them.

Here’s a radical new idea. Rather than teaching women to be fearful, rather than teaching women that they are weak, rather than teaching women that they are helpless, teach women that they are strong. Teach them that they can take care of themselves. Teach them how to protect themselves with confidence and boldness. Not only would this allow individual women to better protect themselves, it would eventually change the image of women in society, combating the male mindset which causes rape in the first place.

” just look them in the eye and they will be afraid very afraid of courage and strength they are your greatest weapons.” No an aluminum bat is a weapon. Looking at them can do a myriad of things, from arousing them to infuriating them. Telling women that if we just look them in eye, they will realize their stupidity and stop is a ridiculous notion. You don’t think there’s a good percentage of victims out there who have fought back violently, biting, kicking, screaming doing everything they can, and they still don’t get away. Yet again, you’re blaming the victim.

“They are bullies and bullies are wimps to other bullies.” No they are rapists. Using this type of language lessens the severity of their crimes, we don’t call men who commit assualt bullies, we don’t call murderer’s bullies, we don’t call child molesters bullies, why the hell would you simplify their actions to that of a child in the schoolyard? That implies they “just don’t know any better’. BULLSHIT. There actions are not that of a bully, but that of a rapist, they’re not taking lunch money, they are raping. There is a huge f’ing difference. Or do you consider women to be worth no more than lunch money?

Thank you, but I must take issue with your sense of futility in offering only sympathy - do you really think that is all you can do? While your kind words were indeed welcome, and I wish more men felt as you do, it is precisely men like you that are desperately needed to speak and act against rape. This is not an easy thing to do, as many women who fight against this rape culture can attest. It means putting yourself out there. It means taking the risk of putting yourself in the line of fire. But remember, women are in that line of fire every day with no such choice to opt out. We need your help. Challenge the men at your workplace, the men you call friends, the men in your family. As you can see, you already know some rapists, whether you knew it or not. Challenge the laws that make it even more difficult for women bringing charges of rape. Visit a rape-crisis center and ask how you can help. Do something, anything, besides nothing…

Wow. This is a sad list. I have been raped, and I suppose if I never drank or did drugs at parties or spent time alone with male friends, that never woudl have happened. And I really wish it didnt happen.

That said, though, I dont think all these rules even can prevent rape 100% or even close. and its sounds like an awfully restrictive life. No bicycles? No dining out alone?

There are a lot of things on that list I wouldnt trade, even for complete safety, which even such limits won’t buy.

Morphienne, I understand where you’re coming from, but I also think you are letting yourself be unecessarily imprisoned.

As ever when I read blogs like this I feel really ashamed at being in the same category as people who do these kinds of things to others, I’m really sorry that it affects people’s behaviour on here so much, I think there is a kind of sexualisation of violence within our culture today that is very dangerous. I wish I had some solutions to stop men from raping women, I don’t- I hope that I would never (I can’t see into the future which is the only reason I’ve offered the conditional)- I hope it happens to no more women on this board than it has happened to already and I hope that those it has happened to can repair their lives. I really have nothing apart from sympathy to offer and I wish I could do more.

First, yes, rapists are plentiful, but so are potential rape victims. The same is not true of Oregonians (except in Oregon). Consequently the analogy breaks down.

The number of people in the world is roughly 6.5 billion. Roughly half, or 3.25 billion, are men. 1/25 of this number is roughly 130 million. In contrast, the number of Oregonians is only 3.3 million. For 1 out of every 25 men to have attacked an Oregonian - and even assuming than no man ever attacked more than one Oregonian - the average Oregonian would experience more than 39 assaults. Is that a fair comparison to the prevalence of rape?

I understand Amp to offer Oregonianess as a class analogous to gender, so that guys can identify with being targeted as a result of class membership. To make the numbers work, Amp could ask guys to imagine what it would be like if “you were from Oregon and 1 out of 25 Oregonian men attack another Oregonian man just because the guy’s from Oregon.” But it’s kinda wordy, and it undermines the class consciousness thing cuz it really boils down to “imagine that 1 out of 25 guys has attacked another guy.”

Sorry, that’s the best I could do.

Second: A woman’s ability to identify a potential rapist is arguably greater than a man’s ability to identify a potential assailant. Because date rape in more common than stranger rape, a woman can anticipate that the person who is most likely to rape her is a boyfriend or former boyfriend. To help guys appreciate the risk women face, it might be appropriate to say something like “imagine that 1% of the guys you meet have attacked other guys for the hell of it, and an additional 3.5% of guys have attacked their intimate friends, mostly when they were guests at their friends’ houses.” That’s paranoia-inducing, too, but it’s a different kind of paranoia.

If 4,5% of young people are rapists, do they then stop being rapists when they get older? Is there a quota of people you have to rape to become a rapist?

Surely it is the other way around - the older a man is the more opportunities he has had to commit rape and the higher is the propability that he actually is a rapist.

How many percent out of all men are college men? How old are they?

I think, the figure of 4.5 % is high, but realistic among young people.
But to consider 4.5 % of men in their 50s, 60s, 70s as rapists - this is difficult to believe.

We also have to see a difference, if the victim knows the rapist personally (living together even as man and wife) - or if the victim is attacked by a totally unknown person.

Reading some postings here are indicating, that the USA generally is a very dangerous place….like to avoid: ‘walking to work’ - ‘riding a bicycle to work’ - ‘driving during night without locking the car doors’ - ‘going to a restaurant alone in the evening’……

Considering such security cannot be only because of the danger of rape, it is because of crime generally.

It makes an interesting thought experiment, though.

There would still be assault, and there would still be rape. True, in greatly reduced quantities - but any amount is too much.

Would people still be talking about the need to extirpate the rape culture? Or would the focus shift (well, remain) on telling women what they should do differently to avoid being victimized?

Without knowing the wording of the original question it is impossible to know how useful the 4.5% number is.

If it was “have you ever forced someone into a sexual act against their will” then the number would be clear.

If it was “have you ever convinced someone to engage in a sexual act aftet then may have initially refused” then that is much less clear, as that question would apply to many dating situations in some way or another.

It was actually a series of questions. However, the ones that Koss used to calculate rape prevalence were similar to your first question. She did ask questions along the lines of your second question, but the answers to those questions were not used for calculating rape prevalence.

we live in a world where crime is a possability and it would obviously be best if there was no need to fear for any of us. That world will never exist even if you evaporated all the men on the planet.

True. But it’s a fact that the large majority of violent stranger crime and the large majority of intimate assaults are committed by men, regardless of the victim’s sex. So although the possibility of being violently attacked wouldn’t disappear in a world without men, it would certainly be far, far reduced.

I’m not saying that we should eliminate all men, of course. But we should be willing to acknowledge that this is not a sex-neutral problem. I think the best available solution is to change the way we raise boys, and to change our cultural concept of things like “real man” and “masculinity.”

Sad but true, Soulhuntre.

If it was “have you ever forced someone into a sexual act against their will” then the number would be clear.

If it was “have you ever convinced someone to engage in a sexual act aftet then may have initially refused” then that is much less clear, as that question would apply to many dating situations in some way or another.

As for the lsit of “don’t do’s” above it is indeed unfortunate that we live in a world where crim is a possability and it would obviously be best if there was no need to fear for any of us. That world will never exist even if you evaporated all the men on the planet.