How Commonly Are Men Beaten Up By Intimate Partners?
| June 9th, 2006In the comments of Chuck’s livejournal entry about the Male Privilege Checklist, Miss Fahrenheit wrote that “#42 just makes me angry because I know it’s wrong, but Google isn’t throwing up any helpful statistics I can scream about.”
Here’s what #42 says: “If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover.”
I based #42 on the Centers for Disease Control’s report on intimate violence, which is (as far as I know) the largest and best-conducted study of intimate violence done in the US to date. According to this study, women are 14 times as likely to have been beaten up by an intimate partner at some point in their lives than men (8.5% versus 0.6%).
The study asked about many kinds of violence, ranging from being shoved to being attacked with a gun. In all categories, women were more likely to have been attacked by an intimate partner than men, and the discrepancies got larger as the violence became more serious. I focused on “beat up” because, unlike items like “threw something” or “pushed” (is a push a bone-jarring crash into a wall, or a painless, flirting push on the shoulder? What if someone pushed only in self-defense, or to escape?), “beat up” has little ambiguity, and implicitly contains a negative outcome.
They also found that men who had cohabited with a male partner were three times as likely to report having been assaulted by a partner as men who had only lived with opposite-sex partners.
Other studies have suggested that men and women are equal victims of intimate violence, but none of those studies are as large or well-conducted as the CDC’s study. Please see this past post for a much more in-depth discussion of “husband-battering” and intimate violence statistics.
(This is one of a number of posts responding to Chuck’s critique. You can use the category archive to see all posts related to the Male Privilege Checklist.)
* * *PLEASE NOTE* * *
Discussion on this post is reserved for feminists and pro-feminists only. If you don’t thinik you’d be considered a feminist by Amp, you’d probably be better off posting comments on the same post at Creative Destruction.
June 10th, 2006 at 1:49 am
Only female interviewers surveyed female respondents. For male respondents, approximately half of the interviews were conducted by female interviewers and half by male interviewers.
Nice methodology.
This comment was written by Nathaniel.Report this comment to the moderators
June 10th, 2006 at 2:29 am
Well Nathaniel, It might actually have been better if all interviewers were women since, as far as I’m aware, men actually find it easier to be vulnerable in front of a woman than in front of a man.
I believe this is one of the disadvantages of our gender-roles that men have - that speaking about emotions and open up to others, especially other men, isn’t “manly”.
This comment was written by B.Report this comment to the moderators
June 10th, 2006 at 3:43 am
My experience with domestic violence services which serve both men and women is that abused men almost universally opt to speak to a woman when offered the choice.
The other way around, however, women tend to choose a man around a third of the time.
This comment was written by Spicy.Report this comment to the moderators
June 10th, 2006 at 4:03 am
” Here’s what #42 says: “If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover.” I based #42 […] Continue reading at Alas, a blog … posted11:58 pm at Alas, a blog
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June 10th, 2006 at 5:26 am
06/10How Commonly Are Men Beaten Up By Intimate Partners?
This comment was written by FeministBlogosphere.Report this comment to the moderators
June 10th, 2006 at 7:28 am
So, this is from the CDC report –
This comment was written by FurryCatHerder.Report this comment to the moderators
June 10th, 2006 at 4:11 pm
I agree 100%, B. I’m just pointing out what seems to be a pretty huge flaw in methodology.
FWIW, I too have chosen females when dealing with any sort of personal disclosure. I would guess men are probably more sensitive to the sex of the person they’re disclosing to than women are, yet only the women seem to have been given any consideration in this regards in the research. Ideally the respondant would be given the option at the beginning of the survey.
This comment was written by Nathaniel.Report this comment to the moderators
June 10th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
It wasn’t a flaw in methodology; it was an well-designed attempt to address the question of if interviewer sex makes a difference in results in surveys such as this when interviewing male subjects. (They didn’t do a similar test for female subjects because there’s a consensus that female interviewers are in general better for female subjects).
They published the results somewhere, but I can’t locate it right now; iirc they found that there wasn’t a statistically significant difference between the results based on the sex of the interviewer.
This comment was written by Ampersand.Report this comment to the moderators
June 11th, 2006 at 12:42 pm
A different nitpick. I’d call .6 percent (a smidge more than one chance in twenty) very unlikely rather than incredibly unlikely. It’s more like being in a serious car accident than being struck by lightning/
This comment was written by Nancy Lebovitz.Report this comment to the moderators
June 11th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
.6 percent is a smidge more than 1 chance in 200.
This comment was written by Robert.Report this comment to the moderators
June 12th, 2006 at 6:06 am
Oops. Thanks.
This comment was written by Nancy Lebovitz.Report this comment to the moderators
June 12th, 2006 at 8:49 am
I wrote:
My mistake - as it turns out, I didn’t “rc.” As Daran writes in the comments of Creative Destruction:
My sincere thanks to Daran for the correction.
This comment was written by Ampersand.Report this comment to the moderators
June 12th, 2006 at 11:41 am
). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. (More). 42. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More). 43. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.” 44. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men. 45. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.
This comment was written by Mad Melancholic Feminista.Report this comment to the moderators
June 13th, 2006 at 11:09 am
I would like to point out the matter of choice here. Women are more likely to be physically attacked by a partner, and here is one factor that causes it.
Their choice! Sad, but scientifically true in case of heterosexual women. For lesbians, the rate counts towards women no matter who assaults whom. For gays, I dont know, but if I were to guess its not as high as heterosexual males.
Coming back to heterosexual men and women, the choice factors that women actually consider males as potential factors, the most prominent and prevalent is looks. True for men too, but, men dont have the ability to choose, men can pursue all they want, the choice of men depends on women. Biologically, men with higher testosterone will have more attractive appearance. The testosterone will demonstrate its bad side at some point of time causing the man to assault anyone close given the right circumstances. Most of the times that means it will be the woman and though society discourages such acts, the woman will be hurt.
This comment was written by Curious.Report this comment to the moderators
June 14th, 2006 at 6:10 pm
). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. (More). 42. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More). 43. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.” 44. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men. 45. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.
This comment was written by RudeBarbie.Report this comment to the moderators
June 29th, 2006 at 10:45 pm
Curious: Back up with statistics, please. You’re not making much sense.
Are you *really* suggesting that women never ever get turned down by men, and men can’t ever turn down women? Of course men can choose between willing romantic partners, just like women.
And I’d love to see your statistics supporting the assertion that women choose men based primarily on looks (if that’s what you’re saying; it’s hard to tell). The correlation between testosterone and “attractiveness” is pretty iffy, and has more to do with pheromones than physical appearance, anyway.
Your comment looks an awful lot like “It’s the women’s fault for being shallow and choosing men who just can’t help beating them up because of their high testosterone levels!” How “feminist” of you.
This comment was written by Mel.Report this comment to the moderators
June 30th, 2006 at 11:50 am
more likely to be the victims of domestic violence - and when they are, are much more likely to be killed. Now can we just move on and do the work of ending this problem? Take care, I’ll be visiting here again, I’m sure… via Alas, A Blog - How Commonly Are Men Beaten Up By Intimate Partners?
This comment was written by The Uncommon Man.Report this comment to the moderators
August 16th, 2006 at 4:46 pm
). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. (More). 43. If I am heterosexual, its incredibly unlikely that Ill ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More). 44. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to smile. 45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men. 46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.
This comment was written by Ann - MySpace Blog.Report this comment to the moderators
September 4th, 2006 at 9:38 pm
Sadly, many abused males never tell anyone about abuse, especially if the perpetrator is female. The ideas of what is acceptable in terms of masculinity make the manliness of men who exhibit vulnerability (such as admiting to being abused) to be called into question. Also there are very few resources for men who have been abused. I am part of a male survivor group to which one member flies hundreds of miles across California to attend it because there is nothing near his residence.
As a male & a feminist, I can see how many of the “privileges” listed in the list can be seen as privileges; however, to me, many of those things are not applicable because I value my sensitivity, not the things society tells me I should (such as high-paying jobs, money, career, et cetera). For me, many things listed on the list feel like oppression. Society tells me I am not entitled to my emotions, to be an abuse survivor, to deal with issues without the use of alcohol/being hypersexual/aggression (none of which work for my personal make-up). This is not to say that the fact that the vast majority of those things on that list are what does happen is right; it isn’t. I hate that any double standard based on gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, ableness, age, or any myraid of identities exists. I wish people were judged on actions, not identities. Just that for me, nearly every item on that list are things I, personally, do not value nor see as a benefit but as an oppressive straitjacket that constrict my ability to display my sensitivity proudly, the reason that nice guys finish last.
This comment was written by Nick McDaniel.Report this comment to the moderators
September 5th, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Speaking just from personal experience, I find the results of this study puzzling. I have hit a woman once in my life - I was about 18, and my teenage sister did
something which annoyed me enough to slap her thigh with an open hand. It left a bruise, I regret it a lot, and twenty years later, she claims she does not remember the accident. I have been hit by three women with whom I had a lasting relationship. One broke my nose twice, gave me a concussion by hitting me repeatedly in the head, threw things at me, and cut my forearm with a knife - she was not particularly in control of herself. The second slapped me once when she thought, mistakenly, that I was making a crude and cruel joke. The last one slapped me once for ‘being stupid’, and once nearly took my eye off with a shirt, because I had stayed too long on the phone while she was waiting for me.
In addition to this, I have seen a man beating up a woman twice. In both cases I have successfully intervened to stop it, and in both cases, I was not the only one. I have seen a woman hit a man more times than I can count. In most cases, these were slaps, but sometimes, it was punches, or blows with objects. Once a woman intervened. In all other cases, everyone looked the other way.
As far as I am concerned, women engage in more ‘low level’ violence than men. At least for me, losing one’s temper is a weakness more tolerated in women than in men. As for serious beatings, I think the reason that men hurt women a lot more often is very simple - men are, on average, stronger.
The only time where I think that culture is to blame is when it comes to murders. I believe that a woman will kill a man if she feels that she has to get rid of him. A man can kill a woman because he has come to think of her as property, and cannot stand to lose his hold on her. I looked for some statistics, and it seems that the only thing they all agree is that among domestic partners, woman on man murders have fallen sharply with the increase in divorce. Now a woman can escape the man without killing him, so they do not do it as often.
In any case, I think the ratio of women to men that reported being beaten-up is not due to big bad society, but to the difference in strenght, and the unwillingness of men to admit being beaten. And no, that first girlfriend never beat me up. I just let her hit me repeatedly because I could not think of anything better to do. The one time I blocked her blows she went into a seizure, and from then on I just let her wind herself down.
This comment was written by Petar.Report this comment to the moderators
September 16th, 2006 at 3:57 am
). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. (More). 43. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More). 44. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.” 45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men. 46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.
This comment was written by we can see you.Report this comment to the moderators
September 19th, 2006 at 4:58 pm
). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. (More). 43. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More). 44. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.” 45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men. 46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.
This comment was written by Sassy Red Head.Report this comment to the moderators
October 8th, 2006 at 6:18 am
Partner abuse or domestic violence can happen to anyone, not just straight, gender-congruent women. It cuts across all communities. Try thinking about abuse through the lens of oppression as a larger concept than sexism.
This comment was written by Ariel.Curious, and others, the same rate of partner abuse in straight communities (1 in 4) is seen in LGBT communities.
Check out http://www.thenetworklared.org
The Network/La Red is a social justice organization dedicated to ending partner abuse in LGBT communities.
Take care!
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October 8th, 2006 at 6:20 am
Also: Partner abuse is not just about being ‘beaten up’. If the only kind of partner abuse/domestic violence you’re willing to talk about is physical violence then you are turning your back on hundreds of thousands of people who have been through emotional, financial, sexual and cultural identity abuse. It’s not just about who’s getting beaten up!
This comment was written by Ariel.Report this comment to the moderators
October 8th, 2006 at 9:06 am
Abuse of a man by a woman in an intmate environment is a very shaming thing. The More proffesional an interviewer comes off (Clinical detached) The Less a man or woman will be likely to reveal this type of abuse. The worst case is Professional male interviewing male but all are bad.
If you want the truth, hook the interviewees up to brain wave (EEG) devices and watch reaction to images of Woman on Man violence images. Those who turn positive can be interviewd in depth by female only professionals in specifically non clinical environments.
This behaviour is of such ashaming nature that role play may be needed to break the shell. This could be a Female psycologist role playing as an intimate abuser. This IMO is the only way to real truth on the matter.
This comment was written by Steve.Report this comment to the moderators
October 8th, 2006 at 7:39 pm
Ariel’s quite right.
I know of at least a couple men who’ve experienced terrible abuse at the hands of female partners, including physical in one case. as you say, though, it often doesn’t manifest the same way.
So perhaps less likely to actually put the guy in the hospital, you know;
but: throwing things, screaming for hours on end, hitting, biting, that sort of thing.
also what’s not talked about: women abuse kids. Including boychildren. Quite a bit. Sometimes of their own volition (or, well, as much as anyone ever does; but directly instigated by Dad, is the point here; sometimes Dad is the silent enabler).
Important here because:
1) Boychildren grow up into men, and guess what kind of relationships they tend to have with women?
2) a really nasty power move abusive women in a traditional family set-up–or really any one with children i suppose: abuse the kids as a way to get to Dad.
Of course the reverse of that (dad abuses kids to get to mom) happens a fuck of a lot as well.
yeah. people. i dunno.
This comment was written by belledame222.Report this comment to the moderators
May 27th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Domestic violence? Personally the number of times i have seen women hitting men, punching men, kicking them in the balls whilst people laugh thinking its funny! Then when a man hits a woman..’OH MY GOD!!! TELL THE POLICE!! DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!’
This comment was written by ugk.There are even academies all over western countries (especially USA) where women are trained to hurt men by attacking their genitals. There are even websites that show women beating up males. The fact is that these men just stand there like dummies for fear that if they retaliate they will GET INTO BIG TROUBLE! Which is correct because 10/10 if an incident goes to court, THE MAN WILL BE PROSECUTED regardless of what the woman did.
These feminist bithches are twisting the law around their fingers and its time men woke up and realised how ridiculous this situation is.
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May 27th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Ugk, thanks for that stirring and useful contribution to reasonsed discussion. You’ve been banned.
This comment was written by Ampersand.Report this comment to the moderators
March 8th, 2008 at 9:15 am
[...] Si je suis hétérosexuel, il presque impossible qu’un jour je me fasse battre par mon épouse ou ma partenaire. (Plus). [...]
This comment was written by grep|grrl » La checklist des privilèges masculins.Report this comment to the moderators
March 27th, 2008 at 10:56 am
[...] I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More). [...]
This comment was written by Bread and Buttah » Archivio Blog » Male Privilege.Report this comment to the moderators
April 29th, 2008 at 6:19 am
[...] 43. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More). [...]
This comment was written by Wallpaper :: The Male Privilege Checklist :: April :: 2008.Report this comment to the moderators
May 12th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
[...] against Women” survey. This feminist-created distortion comes full circle when the results of such surveys are used by feminists to justify the claim that DV is overwhelming viole…. She also made an implied threat to punch him in the face.[↩]US viewers may be surprised that [...]
This comment was written by DV on DW | Feminist Critics.Report this comment to the moderators
May 14th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
I don’t know. I do remember some famous woman boxer that was on the “E” network, who was supposed to be on American Gladiator. But you can’t find her on their website because of a recent scandal in which she beat the shit out of her husband. And then I know my friend’s mom, who was a wrestler, she knocked her husband’s teeth out, and another lady down the street who pulled out chunks of her man’s hair (dreads, must have really hurt)…
I’m gunna have to say it’s more common then you think. :/ Women have rage issues, too, and not all of us can be delicate flowers. Nor can all our husbands be big strong men who can hold us back. But overwhelmingly, it is men beating women, in the same way that men overwhelmingly out perform women at athletics and such. But do consider that it happens more often than you think–and men are less likely to report, because you know, the whole stigma attached to being beaten up by a girl… So stupid, but sad for those poor guys.
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