Toy Donor Accuses Ronald McDonald House of Discriminating Against Lesbians
| November 2nd, 2006In this video, “Peppermint Patty” (great name!) describes having her donations turned away by a Ronald McDonald House worker, who explained that she wouldn’t accept toys from a lesbian.
The video is, frankly, harrowing to watch, because Peppermint Patty is so shattered. Some people might find her reaction disproportionate - after all, far worse discrimination happens to queers every day than having their handmade teddy bears turned away by a Ronald McDonald House volunteer. It’s not like she was kept out of her lover’s hospital room, or refused the chance to marry, or beaten up, right?
But humans are funny creatures, not logic machines. Probably this same woman could experience being turned away from a church, or for a marriage license, and be pissed off and hurt but not in tears - because that sort of discrimination is expected. We mentally steel ourselves for the rejection. Our defenses are up.
But to have a Ronald McDonald House volunteer suddenly and arbitrarily turn away your donated toys because you’re a lesbian - that’s different. That’s being told - at a point when you’re totally unprepared and all your mental shields are down - that you really are worthless, that every bad thing society has every told you about yourself is true, that you are a pariah. This sort of blatant, out-of-the-blue othering is the sort of thing that could easily drive me to tears, to ripping my hair out, and to screaming fits in my bedroom - although I wouldn’t be brave enough to put it on a YouTube video, as Peppermint Patty did.
This sort of thing happens all the time, and the wounds are deep and they sting like hell. How much energy do the pariah classes - lesbians in this case, but also people of color, queers and trans of all sorts, the disabled, fat people, femme men, and others - spend just fighting internalized self-doubt and self-loathing? How much does this sort of crap set us back on a daily basis? How much more could we accomplish if we didn’t have all those feelings brought to the surface by worthless assholes like the RMH worker?
I can’t find an email for Ronald McDonald House (which, Peppermint Patty notes, is not actually owned by the McDonalds corporation), but there are phone and fax numbers here.
November 2nd, 2006 at 2:10 pm
That’s despicable. It doesn’t even make any sense; who gives a damn where the toys came from.
This comment was written by Robert.Report this comment to the moderators
November 2nd, 2006 at 3:05 pm
They may not be owned by McDonalds, but I’m sure they use “Ronald McDonald” at McDonalds’ sufferance. A word to Oakbrook (where MickyD’s world HQ is) would be in order.
This comment was written by RonF.Report this comment to the moderators
November 2nd, 2006 at 3:08 pm
Is there any other information? I feel strange about calling Ronald McDonald House and complaining that one of their workers somewhere turned away toys from a lesbian. That seems vague and unlikely to reach the important decisionmakers who can do something about this.
This comment was written by Agnostic.Report this comment to the moderators
November 2nd, 2006 at 4:27 pm
That’s pretty damn sad. I hope they issue her a public appology. That’s the least they could do.
This comment was written by Carrie Jo.Report this comment to the moderators
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:41 pm
Oh my god. I just cried along with her. I am so upset and sad and fucking furious, I just . . . I just will never understand how small and petty and fucking vicious some people can be.
I’m writing to the Ronald McDonald house now.
This comment was written by Myca.Report this comment to the moderators
November 2nd, 2006 at 7:55 pm
I have to agree with Agnostic. Not because I believe the woman’s making shit up, but because I’d like to be able to at least cite in a protest letter where and when this happened. Otherwise, the people in charge couldn’t possibly be motivated to admit that they need to issue some kind of directive to their staff. Why should they, when there’s nothing to back up the complaint but one video on YouTube. It would be easy for them to make up some b.s. excuse about how the toys must have been rejected for some other reason.
I hope that if other GLBT folks who’ve been treated like dirt by that asshole volunteer see the video, they’ll step forward and reveal a pattern. Because I’m guessing there is one. Grrrr…
This comment was written by ms_xeno.Report this comment to the moderators
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:11 pm
Did you all see PeppermintPatti’s reaction to the NJ gay marriage ruling? It truly made me tear up - it’s beautiful. And so sad to see her so heartbroken a few days later.
See her reaction here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kk3O5_UfW2I
This comment was written by Sara.Report this comment to the moderators
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:15 pm
Um, I can’t see a link to the video anywhere.
Without having seen it, I’m limited in my comments, but I would be very surprised if RMH instructed or would support their employees behaving like this.
This comment was written by Daran.Report this comment to the moderators
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:16 pm
Daran - the video is embedded right here. Just click the play button.
This comment was written by Robert.Report this comment to the moderators
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:56 pm
Ah. The browser I’m using (Konqueror) doesn’t ‘do’ embedded youtube. I can’t even see the button. No problem, switching to Firefox…
This comment was written by Daran.Report this comment to the moderators
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:30 pm
This is so sad and wrong.
I hope Patty reads Alas and knows she has a lot of support too.
This comment was written by Fred Vincy.Report this comment to the moderators
November 2nd, 2006 at 11:58 pm
Does this woman have some website elsewhere, a blog or something, where she lets people know that she’s uploading new videos to YouTube? The story is awful, the video is compelling and harrowing and heartbreaking, but there needs to be more to it before anyone can do anything, and lack of that information is leaving a nasty impotent feeling here. Must act, can’t act.
This comment was written by Dreama.Report this comment to the moderators
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:34 pm
I’m not sure what the ownership scheme is for RMH, however, I can state with absolute certainty that the contact address,
Ronald McDonald House Charities
One Kroc Drive
Oak Brook, IL 60523
Phone: 630-623-7048
Fax: 630-623-7488
is, in fact, McDonalds corporate head quarters.
This comment was written by dan l.Report this comment to the moderators
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:36 pm
Well, fwiw, IIRC, some psychologists who studied the impact of segregation in the South concluded that small acts of segregation, for instance, giving “mixed” taps to whites and unmixed taps to blacks in their respective, segregated restrooms, were actually more psychologically harmful than “big” acts of segregation, like not permitting blacks to attend premier universities. One can understand, at some level, why someone would want an advantage over something so important as a university level education, just as it’s probably more understandable why people react emotionally on the issue of marriage, even if both are demonstrably unjust. But to purposefully go out of your way to slight or reject someone on things that don’t matter (like whether tap water is mixed) requires deep and visceral animus. Rejecting charity from a lesbian (or a black or a Muslim) can only be attributed to hate and prejudice, not competition for privilege or principled if wrongheaded disagreement. Just really, really awful.
This comment was written by Barbara.Report this comment to the moderators
November 3rd, 2006 at 10:24 pm
Via Alas, a blog this YouTube video: Alright mouthbreathers: Let’s accept for a moment that you really really hate th3 g4y, for whatever reason. You’re entirely wrong - but let’s just say that’s your ignorant perspective.
This comment was written by MoveOnAndShutUp.org | You won't like me very much..Report this comment to the moderators
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:28 pm
Barbara, I think that’s dead on. Thanks for formulating it; I couldn’t wrap my head around why this bothered me. It’s precisely the triviality of the slight that is so hurtful, because there’s no (perhaps unpopular) moral position being adhered to; it’s a fuck you for fuck you’s sake.
This comment was written by Robert.Report this comment to the moderators
November 4th, 2006 at 9:55 am
I had a couple two tree cocktails with a friend of mine who’s a lower level PR guy for McD’s. He says (and he’s a pretty reliable cat, with very little reason to lie) that McDonalds Corporate was made aware of this late Friday.
Just saying.
This comment was written by dan l.Report this comment to the moderators
November 4th, 2006 at 9:58 am
BTW if anybody is curious:
Each chapter of RMH is individually operated by a group of McD’s franchise owners, hospital board types, and NPO types. McDonalds Corporate maintains a working relationship with their central administration, but has very little to do with the workings at a given chapter.
It’s like……franchised charity.
This comment was written by dan l.Report this comment to the moderators
November 4th, 2006 at 10:29 am
That employee does not seem to care much about the children she supposed to be helping. She obviously feels that the need to express her own ignorant prejudice like that is more important. Ridicules! I hope she will suffer some consequences…
I am really sorry Peppermint Patty had to experience that. It is horrible to think about how often these things happen. A “small incident” like that, it is often given very little attention, but it can hurt more than punches and beatings …..
This comment was written by Almi.Report this comment to the moderators
November 4th, 2006 at 12:56 pm
As someone who had occasion to stay in a RMH, I’ll vouch for what dan l said…..it’s a franchised charity. I didn’t watch the video (dial-up internet service is not video-friendly), so it isn’t clear to me if this was an isolated act of bigotry by a volunteer, or a board-driven official policy of bigotry.
Amp, where did this happen? Can you give any background to this for those of us who can’t access the video? I’d be happy to write a letter to the board of directors of this particular RMH, if I knew where it was.
This comment was written by La Lubu.Report this comment to the moderators
November 5th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
Yep, that’s McD’s HQ alright, I’m over there about once a month for Scouting reasons. And like I say, Ronald McDonald is a McD’s trademark. While the operations of the RMH are independent of McD’s, their use of that trademark isn’t, and that gives McD’s leverage over them.
This comment was written by RonF.Report this comment to the moderators
November 5th, 2006 at 3:44 pm
Uh, totally borked the last post; please delete it. Here’s what I meant to say:
Sara:
Because of my browser ‘issues’, I watched this one before the one embedded in Amp’s post. The contrast couldn’t be more marked. This one is like watching a kid at Christmas. In the other, she seemed to have aged a decade and a half.
A couple of comments: Firstly Amp’s title is misleading. The ‘accusation’ is clearly leveled at one of RMH’s workers, not at RMH itself. It’s unlikely that either RMH or McDonald’s inc. would support this.
On the other hand, despite trumpetting the diversity of their workforce, there’s no mention of gays or lesbians. In fact, a Google search turns up no instances of the words “sexuality”, “lesbian”, or “gay” (except as a personal name), anywhere on either the corporate or charity sites, so it would certainly be legitimate to ask them whether their antidiscrimination policies extend to a person’s sexuality.
This comment was written by Daran.Report this comment to the moderators
November 5th, 2006 at 3:48 pm
Hmmm. Maybe a single end blockquote is what is needed as a quick fix to unbork the above
Until Amp sorts it out properly.
This comment was written by Daran.Report this comment to the moderators
November 5th, 2006 at 3:49 pm
I thought I had sorted it out. Is it still borked on your browser?
This comment was written by Ampersand.Report this comment to the moderators
November 5th, 2006 at 4:05 pm
No, you fixed it when you deleted the post.
You’re just too quick for me. :-)
This comment was written by Daran.Report this comment to the moderators