A Question for the Ages
| September 10th, 2007Why is it so much more amusing to give voice to one’s complaints in letter form to vast & unresponsive entities?
For instance:
Dear Prison-Industrial Complex,
You’re a fuckhead. Do you even understand how much of a fuckhead you are? Seriously. Get some therapy.
Sincerely,
Mandolin
or:
Dear Victorian Era,
Therapeutic hysterectomies are the dumbest idea you’ve had in a while — except for the therapeutic clitorodectomies. And while we’re at it, can you knock it off with the corsets? Even ladies like to breathe.
Kudos on the satin and ruffles, though. I even like the bustles.
Sincerely,
Mandolin
or, on days when I’m aggravated by too much critiquing of amateur stories:
Dear Entire Fucking Universe,
LEARN PAST PERFECT TENSE.
Love & Kisses,
Mandolin
My favorite of all time is by a friend of mine*:
Dear 1970s,
Obscurity is not art.
Does anyone else agree with me that this sort of thing is amusing? Clearly, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and I are on the same page.
And oh yeah, consider this a totally open thread for posting your favorite McSweeney’s lists. ‘Cuz we all know that’s happening.
–
*a more reasonable link representing the friend.
September 11th, 2007 at 1:02 am
This is my all time favorite McSweeney’s list for not entirely rational reasons:
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/sidewalk.html
This comment was written by twibbit.Report this comment to the moderators
September 11th, 2007 at 7:49 am
I think it’s even funnier when they write back.
Dear Mandolin,
Sure, call me crazy, but you people can’t live without me! Muahahahah. Where would you put all the rapists and the other scary, scary people? You all feed me and feed me so you don’t have to think about what you consider human garbage. Even if I smell, everyone loves it when the garbageman takes the trash away — I mean, uh, when your stalwart legislators pass “tough on crime” bills.
Speaking of which, send over some more convicts, I have a money making scheme that’s gonna make me rich!! Also some more ladies. Or trans women. Whatever, as long as I can pimp them. It’s good entertainment.
love,
The Prison-Industrial Complex
p.s. The complete Season Six of OZ, now available on DVD at HBO.com!!
This comment was written by Holly.p.p.s. I <3 Law & Order too!
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September 11th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
It’s actually not funny anymore. It stopped being funny after the first 400 Craig’s Listers used that tack to try to get their posts into the “Best of CL” list (although Craig’s Listers often use a slightly different twist: addressing their missives to inanimate objects, e.g., “Dear Crosstown M14 Bus”).
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September 11th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Although some gentlemen choose not to
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September 11th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Ye gods, that site is intensely amusing. Now I’ll be forced to spend the next several hours browsing through it and chuckling to myself, rather than accomplishing anything or sleeping or spending time around other human beings.
In return, here’s some dinosaurs behaving in odd ways.
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September 11th, 2007 at 10:54 pm
How many cool points do you lose for reading Craig’s List recreationally? ;)
*
Yay dinosaur comics!
I love the comment they make on nihilism (paraphrased) — “The best thing to do to a nihilist is to go up and punch him in the face, and say ‘Why are you imagining me punching you? Why are you imagining me punching you?’”
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September 11th, 2007 at 11:16 pm
“How many cool points do you lose for reading Craig’s List recreationally? ;)”
How many did I start with? Since I’ve switched from doing that to reading egghead blogs like Megan McArdle’s (which linked to this one), I don’t feel any cooler.
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