Mostly I’m ecstatic to FINALLY see a blogger writing for an audience made up primarly of Americans who is actually aware that “England,” “Britain,” and “the UK” aren’t synonyms, but the really anal part of me still thinks that the Irish would be pretty pissed off by your definition of the latter. Yeah, I know you did clarify that “part” of Ireland is independent, but…..it is the really big part, after all.

Hence the saying, “Last night I went to a fight but then it turned nasty…a rugby game broke out.”

As played currently, it involves a stick and a ball (a skull was used originally). The stick (”la crosse” in French, the first Europeans to observe and write about the sport) is 40 inches long (~100 cm, half-again as long for a few of the defensive players) and has a tear-drop shaped basket at the end. The ball is made of solid hard rubber and is slightly smaller than a tennis ball. The field/pitch is about the same as a soccer field, and about 20 meters from each end there is a circle 3 m in diameter with a goal 2m x 2m in it. A goalie stands in front of the goal with a stick with a somewhat larger basket on it. The ball can be advanced by the use of the stick (either by running with the ball in the basket of your stick or by passing it) or by kicking it; it cannot be advanced with the hand.

The game is formally scored by counting how many times the ball is shot past the goalie into the net. However, an observer will quickly realize that the object of the game is to hit your opponent with the stick, or knock him down (I say “him” deliberately; predictably girls’/women’s lacrosse has different rules with much of the contact legislated out of it). Under men’s rules, thus:

If your opponent has the ball, it is perfectly legal to charge into them and knock them down. You cannot extend your arms and hit them with the stick from behind; that’s cross-checking.

If your opponent has the ball, it is perfectly legal to wind up and hit them with your stick (usually made of an aluminum or titanium alloy) as hard as you possibly can on any part of their arms. In a high school contest I saw someone’s arm broken in this fashion, flapping as if the player had two elbows. He fell down screaming. Play was not stopped and no foul was called. No criticism of this course of action was made by any of the spectators, players or coaches on either team.

If the ball is on the ground, any player can knock down any other player (and stand over them and keep knocking them down) if they are within 5 m of the ball. There is no requirement to attempt to make a play on the ball.

Play at the beginning of the game and after each goal (9 to 7 is a common score) is initiated by placing the ball on the ground in the middle of the field on the center line. A player from each team face each other holding their sticks on the ground next to the ball. Two other players from each team stand paired against each other at the sideline ends of the center line. Upon the whistle, the two in the middle fight for the ball and the pairs at each end run as quickly as possible towards the middle to join in the fun. After 10 seconds pass or after someone gets possession (whatever occurs first), everyone else joins in.

The players wear helmets with full cages over the face. They wear padded gloves, light elbow and arm pads and a light padded chest protector under their shirts. A padded athletic cup is generally worn by male players. No other protective gear is worn, even by the goalie. The shot of a strong high school or college player can approach 100 mph (161 Kph).

The game has been played for years by colleges and high schools on the east coast. Over the last few years, the game is sweeping the country. The State of Illinois had about 8 teams for about 20 years. In the last 6 years, 60 other schools have started up boys’ teams and about 25 have started girls teams. The kids absolutely love the game. It combines running, hand-eye coordination (it’s damn hard to throw and catch a pass) and contact. And in an article on the phenomenon in Sports Illustrated, one major reason that kids quoted repeatedly on why they like the game is that their parents did not know the rules and did not understand the game, so they shut the hell up and don’t shout advice to them and the coaches and criticisms at the officials and coaches.

At Bannockburn, the Scots defeated the army of the English king. Scots never won a pitched battle with an English army again, but were formidible enough to maintain independence against the larger, wealthier Southern neighbor for almost 400 years. Almost immediately thereafter, Scots produced the world’s first written declaration of independence, the Declaration of Arbroath, which among other things vested the legitimacy of the government in the people (in 1320!).

They didn’t “beat” us in 1603, when our king inherited their throne.

They didn’t “beat” us in 1707, either. Rather, Scotland united with England by vote of its Parliament. There’s a lot to be sad about in the Union, and in the things Scots did to other Celts (and to our own; the Highland Clearances were in substantial part a crime of lowlanders against highlanders; and I say that as the son of a Fifer) and to people around the world thereafter; but the one thing we didn’t do is lose our independence on the field of battle.

I wrote up my brief investigation into the rules, and point, of rugby union four years ago, and have just put it in my blog in Maia’s honour.

As for your ill-humoured friend - the time I lived in Atlanta for a summer I was periodically waking my boyfriend up at 5am by listening to Test Match Special over broadband. I believe you can no longer listen to TMS over broadband in the USA. I have no idea how I will cope when I next spend a summer there. .__. For some reason I can’t fathom, my boyfriend does not share my apprehensions…

Yup. My husband is a die hard Red Sox fan and we do not have NESN, which means he has had to listen to 100 + games on the radio this year. He’s VERY excited he’ll get to watch the game on Fox tonight - I will have to find something else to occupy my time since the fox announcers make me want to crawl through the television and strangle them. My husband will not notice if I am in the room or not. :)

There are countries where rugby is less important than war?

Well, for example, in the U.S. your average rugby game would be mistaken for a gang fight. The key is to watch for a while and realize that a gang fight is, in fact, generally less violent and has more rules.

Then there’s Australian Rules Football. I stayed up one night and watched a match live. As far as I can tell, rule #1 is either “There are no rules” or “No poofters”, I’m not sure. I do like the gentlemen in the white suits and hats who signal the scores. My Australian friend living here in the U.S. did not appreciate it when I called him during the match to discuss what I was seeing (it was about 0200). All the other Australians I’ve met have a sense of humor. Guess he’s lived in the U.S. too long.

Currently in the U.S. we are about to start our ancient national ritual of the World Series, limited to baseball teams from the U.S. For people in many cities, especially my home town of Boston, the event will be more important than war, food and sex. For those of you who are not Americans, baseball has a superficial resemblence to cricket. The major difference being that baseball has far more incomprehensible rules and a fine tradition of spitting, scratching ones’ crotch, cursing, and screaming insults and personal abuse at the umpire (despite what you may have read, this last is the actual inspiration for the U.S. Constitution’s First Amendment). Not to mention the behavior of the players ….

Next time, you can teach him about geography and math, both at the same time!

i didn’t realise at first that you were in NZ. so i got confused about how a child about to have ‘afternoon tea’ did not know where England was.
now it make sense.

also, sport is the perfect metaphor for almost everything.

Yes, South Africa did beat England in the Rugby World Cup.

I love it when I guess the ending! :)