I agree with you completely. But your post seems to suggest that “birth control” = “the Pill”, and zipped right by the question of STDs–something the Pill does nothing to prevent. That’s why ‘many people’ promote condom usage.

America has such ridiculously unhealthy attitudes about sex, and especially about teen sex. This is a big part of our huge unwanted pregnancy/STI issue. America is one of the most sexually unhealthy western nations.

You make an excellent point about not using protection. I know so many teens and adults, even, who don’t use them, and when I ask them why, they literally just shrug it off.

I think a big part of the issue is also that we don’t push protection in such a way that says, “If you do it, you are respecting one another, and you are prolonging your life.”

We need to freaking evolve!

I do know however that the pill is not a male chauvinistic plot to rid women of their sexual independence.

Two healthy STD free teens in a monogamous relationship should consult with each other and a medical professional before trying oral contraceptives. But the pill is certainly an effective form of birth control and should definitely be considered.

The Pill is prescription-only everywhere in the US, and it works by affecting a woman’s normal hormonal balance everywhere.

That teens are too irresponsible for meticulous use of the birth control pill

I didn’t even imply this. Are you just trying to pick a fight?

What I *was* responding to was Cylphi’s post, which seems to suggest that the Pill is the very bestest form of birth control and takes care of any problems sex might cause. I’m all for the Pill being available to women, and it may be a good or even the best choice for many women, including teens.

I do have a problem with the way the Pill is pushed as something women are supposed to choose first, not because it is the best for them (it has a very high drop-out rate) or because it protects them from disease, but because it fits neatly into the notion that women are supposed to make sex as simple and trouble-free for men as possible, even if that means doing all the work and coping with all the side-effects. Controlling your own fertility? Great. Jacking up your system with hormones because your partner doesn’t like to wait for you to put in a diaphragm and whines that he can’t feeeeel anything with condoms? Not so great.

An abusive boyfriend is not likely to be cautious about giving his partner an STD either, but that’s kind of another topic.

Power dynamics.

Some of the reader’s comments are a little inconsistant on the issue of an adult man having sex with a 16 year old. On the one hand Teenagers are not mature enough to make adult decisions so need to have sex with people there own age, at the same time you’re saying that having sex with an older guy is wrong because the teen is more likely to fall pregnant. Surely a guy in his 20’s would be more able to take responsibility for ensuring his 16 or 17 year old girlfriend doesn’t get impregnated than a spotty 16 year old boy who doesn’t know how to put on a condom and only wants to brag to his mates that he got laid?

Mayby Britney Spears went crazy because she was in the media spotlight from an early age, not because she was a teen sex symbol. A lot of child stars go crazy.Though good point about the hypocricy of the media in putting out the image of teen sexuality when also pretending that anyone who looks at a teenager is an evil pervert.

I find it odd that you’re willing to say that as an absolute without allowing variance for individual teens — who are not all a monolith, and will not all react to the use of something like birth control the same way. I sense there are two parts to your argument here. 1: That teens are too irresponsible for meticulous use of the birth control pill — this, of course, obviously varies by teen. 2: That the birth control pill is unhealthy for teens — which, speaking as one of those teens who was on the b/c pill for medical reasons, is not necessarily going to be true all the time either.

Further, since we have data suggesting that abusive teenage boys sometimes use condoms as a method of control, I’m not sure that it’s reasonable to assume that male-controlled birth control is necessarily preferable.

And yes, condoms should absolutely be used, in preference to the Pill. Which, being a hormonal prescription drug, is more difficult and less safe for teens to use than alternatives like condoms.

But we shouldn’t throw birth control out the window, proper use of oral contraception has typically over a 91% success rating. Such pills can be obtained easily at a Planned Parenthood along with condoms (which many agree should always be used during intercourse)

Birth control doesn’t always work, and it doesn’t magically prevent STDs. Recognizing that sex has risks, and being willing to consider and accept those risks, is part of being mature enough to have sex.

As a parent, I remember how my teens were. Sex was furtive & something to be hidden away! This is one of the most beautiful acts between two people who care about each other! I believe that sex is a sacred expression of love & trust. How do we expect our children to learn this if we don’t teach them!

I have done everything I can to educate my sons (and their girlfriends) about the need for STD protection & birth control. I wanted them to know that sex is a natual expression of caring & not something to be ashamed of!

The Dutch attitude towards teen sexuality is much more healthy, in my view. I would hope that more American parents would realize how badly we are twisting our children.

Americans are very hung up about sex to begin with, and sadly, i don’t think we’ll see a sexual revolution for at least a few decades.

Perhaps this is in reaction to the puritanical views of our elders, but I don’t think that their views are entirely unwarranted. It seems like a positive feedback loop to me.

Seems to me that’s a big part of the reason teenagers get in trouble–irresponsibility, especially sexual irresponsibility,

I don’t know much about Dutch culture and how children are raised or treated there, however this seems like it may be a huge factor to me. I am an ESL teacher. I’ve lived/worked in Japan and right now in Mexico. There are differences in maturity levels regarding specific topics, for example studying on your own, your responsability for your future, sex, relationship, etc. More mature teenagers are going to be more responsible. The maturity level of teenagers (kids in general) has a lot to do with the amount of responsibility that their parents and teachers think they can handle and expect from them.

Perhaps the difference isn’t the difference in attitudes about sex. Perhaps the Dutch think that teenagers can handle more personal responsability than we (Americans) do and therefore expect and foster more maturity and responsability in teenagers.

My children would be under my roof with the protection and guidance of parents when they started sexual intimacy, instead of sneaking around. This makes a whole lot of potential problems less likely. If we normalize sex and talk about it as a stage of growth they are reaching in their midteens, they won’t be held hostage by ignorant peers or abstinance only educators. If we allow them to be sexual at home they are in a safe and comfortable environment and have more control over the situation. Always having access to condoms. Help if a partner tries to pressure or hurt them. Parents who help them make good contraceptive choices. I first fell in love at twelve. Respecting that young people do form romantic attachments and really can experience intense love for each other is very powerful in a culture that often dismisses their experiences as insignificant “phases” instead of deeply experienced realities.

Encouraging teen sleepovers once my kids date exclusively wasn’t on my radar before, but now that it is I’m very grateful for the characteristically sensible Dutch attitude toward sex for teens.

Teaching teens to wait until they’re ready to act in a responsible, mature fashion is one thing–along the lines of “Yes, you can have a car, as long as you’re willing to share the responsibility for car maintenance, insurance costs and renewing the license plates”. (One sex ed book that my mother bought me in lieu of actually talking about sex cautioned “Sex is for men and women, not children,” which I thought was a pretty good summary.)

But that’s not what we do. Anyone remember Hillary Clinton joking about how she didn’t want Chelsea to have sex until she was 30 and then she didn’t want to know about it? “Abstinence-only” teaching suggests to teens that they not even CONSIDER sex until they’re in their 20s.

However, it’s clear that the original study did make its sampling design clear to its readers.

Also, Ron, a study does not have to apply to 100% of parents to be meaningful and interesting. Given US demographics, a study of white middle-class parents is far more likely to be representative of the plurality of the population “that has a lot of power in setting school board and national policy” than a study of (say) “plenty of school districts within 20 miles” of RonF’s computer station.