Fred Phelps’ son discusses abusive childhood
| June 9th, 2009(MAJOR TRIGGER WARNINGS — Lots of stuff about how Fred Phelps abused his entire family. Please be cautious about reading on or following the links if you think it may be a trigger for you.)
Nate Phelps, the son of the infamously hateful preacher Fred Phelps, delivered a speech at this year’s American Atheist Convention. In the speech, Nate describes life with his father:
Yet when my father turned his instructive fist on my mother, I instinctively felt internal conflict. For me, it was intuitively wrong that a 6 foot 2, 250 pound man be allowed to beat up a woman barely half his size. But we dared not intervene or even question his actions, because his behavior was sanctioned by god.
In one instance, as my father was stalking our mother at the top of the stairs, she stumbled and started to fall. Reaching out to catch herself she ripped her arm out of the socket. My father refused to let her get medical treatment to repair the damaged muscles and tendons. In subsequent, years when he was angry with her, he would inevitably grab for that injured arm. On a few occasions he managed to get hold of it and re-injure it.
In addition to his misogyny, homophobia, anti-Semitism, and pretty much every other kind of bigotry under the sun, Phelps is also a fat-hater, abusing his children and wife for not being slender enough. It’s interesting how all these forms of othering slide so naturally into one another.
Reading through Nate’s site, it seems amazing that Nate got out (and, after years of involvement with less insane forms of Christianity than his father’s, became a firm atheist). Most of his siblings haven’t been so lucky (a section of the site includes a long email from his sister making excuses for Fred Phelps’ behavior).
Via Figleaf.
June 9th, 2009 at 5:38 am
This is so sad to see but unfortunately not surprising. I only wish his sister could have gotten out too.
This comment was written by Aftercancer.Report this comment to the moderators
June 9th, 2009 at 11:40 am
I know this is a side point compared to all of the rest of the ugliness, but it has always confused me.
One of the key Calvinistic tenets is that only God really knows who is among the elect. Why is Phelps so sure he is one of the elect?
This comment was written by Sebastian.Report this comment to the moderators
June 9th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Have you read Jon Bell’s very long article on the Phelps family? It was horrifying.
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June 9th, 2009 at 11:59 am
He really sounds like the crazy father from Barbara Kingsolver’s excellent book “The Poisonwood Bible”. Far from holding these people to some standard of moral behaviour, these people’s religion gives them justification in inflicting their own hateful beliefs on others. I mean, you don’t even have to look very far in the Bible to justify Phelps’ behaviour. Not that there isn’t plenty of positive advice in there too; you get to pick and choose, apparently.
It seems to me that the moral code taught by churches comes not from the Bible but from the community. If your church community thinks slavery is A-OK, well, that’s what the preacher will say, and that’s what the kids will learn. If your church community thinks slavery is an evil marring the face of Christianity, you’ll raise abolitionist kids. But both groups will claim they’re doing exactly what the Bible tells them to…
This comment was written by Anne.Report this comment to the moderators
June 9th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Bingo.
And the problem is that once you’ve taken a ‘community standard’ and made it a ‘biblical standard’, it’s a lot harder to change. I can argue logically against whatever, but “God Said” is kind of the ultimate rebuttal.
—Myca
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June 12th, 2009 at 12:10 am
It would be good if someone wrote a play about Phelps. Nate would be a good candidate. It might be good therapy for him.
This comment was written by Lynn Harrington.Also a play about how nutty and abusive Phelps is, would be ‘turn about fair play’ regarding his cruelty about the Laramie project.
I don’t know why his hatred hasn’t killed him. Very bad energy can be so destructive.
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June 12th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
My father was a dictatorial racist and (rather incidentally) an atheist, so he never made us go to church and never incorporated his fascism into some theological world view. To my way of thinking, that is a unique form of abuse: This ain’t just from me, it’s from God/The Universe and is Divine Law.
I used to pray every day that God would rescue me from my father… but what if my father had been the guy in charge of my prayers? What a nightmare to consider. I am so grateful he was not a preacher, teacher, cop, lawyer, some man with even more authority than simply that of a working class patriarchal father.
I always wonder, if he had been religious, would I be atheist? Probably. (We always run in the opposite direction of the tyrants, don’t we?)
I feel so sorry for the Phelps family. I knew it had to be very bad.
This comment was written by DaisyDeadhead.Report this comment to the moderators